The Onion: The Onion's Finest News Report CD Track Listing

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The Onion The Onion's Finest News Report
This misc cd contains 70 tracks and runs 66min 56sec.
Freedb: 0f0fae46
Buy: from Amazon.com

Category

: Music

Tags

: music songs tracks misc

1. The Onion - Onion Finest News Reporting Vol. 1 Introduction (00:43)
2. The Onion - A Massive Oil Spill Results In Improved Wildlife Viscosity (00:42)
3. The Onion - A Cop Kills His Own Partner And Vows To Track Himself Down (00:35)
4. The Onion - NASA Is Baffled By The Failure Of Its Straw Shuttle (00:43)
5. The Onion - Clinton Has Been Seduced By A Suave International Diamond Thief (00:33)
6. The Onion - An Area Bassist Is Felated (00:34)
7. The Onion - High Court Bans Same-Sex Friendships (00:40)
8. The Onion - The Amish Give Up (00:26)
9. The Onion - A Giant Six-Year Old Devastates An Area Ant Community (00:43)
10. The Onion - I Believe The Robots Are Our Future (04:59)
11. The Onion - A Family Of Four Has Been Rescued From A Burning House By A Homosexual (00:33)
12. The Onion - Desperate Vegetarians Declare Cows Plants (00:43)
13. The Onion - The Whale Market Is Targeted With New Plankton-Flavored Peanut Butter (00:35)
14. The Onion - Chrisopher Reeve Is Placed Atop The Washington Monument (00:40)
15. The Onion - Civil War Enthusiasts Burn Atlanta To The Ground (00:39)
16. The Onion - Jesus Christ Has Hired An Associate Christ (00:34)
17. The Onion - A Bluesman Claims Yemen Done Him Wrong (00:48)
18. The Onion - Taco Bell Launches The New Morning-After Burrito (00:40)
19. The Onion - A Zookeeper Is Savagely Raped By A Grizzly Bear (00:40)
20. The Onion - The Jews Have Been Ordered Back To Egypt For Pyramid Duty (00:39)
21. The Onion - Clinton Deploys Vowels To Bosnia (00:54)
22. The Onion - Those Motherfucking Robins Are On Thin Ice With Me (04:37)
23. The Onion - Nine People Are Drawn And Quartered At An Out-Of-Hand Rennaissance Fair (00:38)
24. The Onion - Neighbors Remember A Serial Killer As A Serial Killer (00:33)
25. The Onion - Chrysler Discontinues Neck Belts (00:39)
26. The Onion - Teachers Are Apalled By Poorly Written Teen Suicide Notes (00:43)
27. The Onion - Mother Theresa Has Been Sent To Hell In A Wacky Afterlife Mix-Up (00:44)
28. The Onion - A Buck-Naked Man Stresses The Importance Of Proper Schooling (00:39)
29. The Onion - Ants Demand A 23.9 Hour Work Day (00:39)
30. The Onion - President Clinton Is Written Up By His "Total Bitch" Supervisor (00:45)
31. The Onion - Congress Has Approved The Americans With No Abilities Act (00:43)
32. The Onion - A New High-Viscosity Mayonnaise Will Help Americans Swallow (00:44)
33. The Onion - The Collectable Plate Industry Has Called For The Tragic Death Of Barbara Striesand (00:36)
34. The Onion - Hitler Was Wrong! (03:31)
35. The Onion - McDonald's Unveils A New All-Beef Bun (00:34)
36. The Onion - The President's Head Has Been Sawed Off (00:36)
37. The Onion - Philip Morris Lawyers Deny Cigarettes Are Cylindrical (00:36)
38. The Onion - A New Cereal For the Poor Stays Crunchy In Water (00:34)
39. The Onion - A Revolutionary New Asper-Shirt Relieves Torso Pain (00:32)
40. The Onion - The Vatican Unveils Its New Pope Signal (00:37)
41. The Onion - Greenpeace Releases Dolphins Into The Forest (00:34)
42. The Onion - A Local Wal-Mart Greeter Is At Death's Door (00:38)
43. The Onion - Richard Simmons Is Fighting For His Life In An Estrogen Tent (00:44)
44. The Onion - A Lucky Dead Student Gets His Own Page In The High School Yearbook (00:41)
45. The Onion - The NRA Changes Its Focus From Guns To Penmanship (00:37)
46. The Onion - I Am A Bad Ass (05:52)
47. The Onion - Quincy Suspects Murder (00:42)
48. The Onion - Jews are Celebrating Rosh Hashasha, or Something (00:42)
49. The Onion - Bourbon Helps An Area Carpet Salesman Forget About Carpeting For A While (00:44)
50. The Onion - White Castle Plundered By Turks (00:40)
51. The Onion - Rocker Ted Nugent's New Cologne Has Been Tested On Every Known Animal (00:43)
52. The Onion - Don King Enjoys a Grandilomentitudinous Sandwich (00:40)
53. The Onion - A Family Dog Is Suspected In A Miniature Chuck Wagon Disaster (00:46)
54. The Onion - An Utter Failure Plans To Spend The Rest Of The Day In Bed (00:40)
55. The Onion - Congress Has Lowered The Killing Age To Nineteen (00:35)
56. The Onion - Scandal In The Special Olympics (00:38)
57. The Onion - It's Not a Crack House, It's A Crack Home (05:06)
58. The Onion - An Area Man Busts His Ass All Day, And For What? (00:41)
59. The Onion - Mongol Warriors Have Sacked And Pillaged The U.S. (00:34)
60. The Onion - A Hate Crime Bill Is Stalled By The Pro-Hate Lobby (00:36)
61. The Onion - 80% Of Americans Are In Favor Of Storming The Castle And Destroying The Inhuman Monster (00:41)
62. The Onion - A Man With Heart Disease Eagerly Awaits The Death Of A Young Boy (00:38)
63. The Onion - The Face Of Jesus Is Seen On A Miracle Hippie (00:36)
64. The Onion - An Ant Is Born (00:38)
65. The Onion - Babies Are Stupid (00:43)
66. The Onion - NRA President Charlton Heston - A Hebrew? (00:40)
67. The Onion - A Coffeehouse Encounter Results In Conversation And Cunnilingus (00:39)
68. The Onion - A Drunken Man Makes An Interesting Point About Society (00:45)
69. The Onion - A Local Masturbator Gets All The Latest Swimwear News On E! (00:43)
70. The Onion - Onion Finest News Reporting Vol. 1 Conclusion (00:19)