Signs you've been in Glasgow too long

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: entertainment humor jokes signs fun glasgow

1. You say 'pish' all the time.
2. You say 'aye' all the time.
3. You end sentences with 'like' i.e. 'I'm no goin' there, like, it's pish'.
4. You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of pish like'.
5. You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.
6. You punch everybody you meet.
7. You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you meet.
8. You are incomprehensible.
9. People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.
10. You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words Edinburgh' or 'England'.
11. You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried pizzas you have consumed since birth.